Hate not, Just let go

The word Love, as a noun is defined as “a strong feeling of affection” and the antonym is “hatred”.

The antonym is good to read, but not practical in real life. Let me cite an example. I love chocolates, couple of years back I would always have loads of chocolate at home. Presently I do not prefer chocolates, I still do not hate chocolates, I just avoid by choice.

The same can be practiced with people. Earlier it was different, the people I did not like, used to dislike them, sometimes hate them and start avoiding them. As time passed from days to weeks to months and in some cases years, I started forgetting them or rather their presence in any form disappeared from my active senses. Of course during small casual talk with other people if one or some of these people’s reference came up, immediately some old not so good memories would start flashing in the mind. The refreshed link/links to these people would linger around for hours or days and then slowly they fade away. After couple of such occasions, I did some subtle analyzing and noticed that it was always the bad incidents with the folks that I would be forced to remember, never a good one. I decided to try an experiment, every time a situation turned up, I would force my brain to turn up some good memories with the individual/s. After a couple of occasions, bad memories reduced in number and after a while stopped completely. With the negativity related to the individual gone, my dislike for the person was also gone. It was like seeing someone on the road or in a public place and since I do not know the person, I do not have any specific feelings towards that individual.

After many years of adopting this methodology, I am in better control of the feelings I have for people. I can quickly dissociate bad feeling’s and just retain the good. The memories  are not gone, just don’t have the priority tag so that they don’t pop up anytime and every time.

By the way this exercise is really tough, believe me! It must have taken me more than a year or two, I really don’t have an exact answer, but it is worth it. It is effective for everything, not only people, could be specific food (to stop cravings), habits, etc.

The biggest advantage in adopting this technique is the positive energy that one gets in a not so good situation, and feeling less stressed out or depressing.

I am keen to get some feedback or any similar experience you may have come across.

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The Right in the Wrong – Part 2

Continued from the previous - The Right in the Wrong (Part 1)

The simplest explanation is that either cannot exist without the other.  Every Wrong has a right hidden and every Right a wrong. The whole phenomena of existence is based on this theory.

Let’s look at nature for a moment ----  the beautiful and calm  Deer is hunted by the majestic Lion. We can say it is wrong for the Lion to kill the Deer, but what option does it have, none, it just follows its own instinct, or rather it does not have a choice. Us Humans, do we have choice in killing an animal or even an insect, Yes we do.  I have seen people killing ants in huge number with heavy pesticides. Come on what have they done to you, actually nothing. If you left your food out in the open the ant will certainly grab it, but then it does the same with a dead cockroach lying around.

So every time we do something wrong, we will find the right in it to justify or convince the self and others. The converse is not so, when we do something right we believe that there is no wrong in it. I am sure most of us would have heard or read the story of the struggling butterfly trying to get out of the cocoon and how the onlooker helped and in the process grounded it. Another scenario is wherein parents go out of the way helping their children and in the process crippling their growth(not necessarily physical) and wisdom.

Now that’s confusing. You must be wondering then how do I go about doing anything at all. Well initially it is about unlearning. The many good and right things we do are only good and right for the 5 senses. It is time to re-discover the 6^th invisible sense, which is the prime. The awakening of the 6^th will help mankind to live in harmony with our surroundings, we will still fight but not wage wars and violence will exist to subdue or stop greater violence’s. So the next time you set out to do something, step back and give it a few moments of your neutral thought, and then proceed. This activity could leave you clueless initially but with passing time your 6^th sense will endow you with thoughts.

Note: In the south of India, there is a custom of drawing "kolam" (rangoli in other places) on the ground in front of the house using white rice powder. It is believed that in the olden days coarse rice flour was used, so the ants would not have to walk too far or too long for a meal. The rice powder also provided birds and other small creatures something to eat it. This concept of welcoming other living beings into one's home and everyday life is an example of harmonious co-existence.

Weekly Writing Challenge: Cliffhanger! by michelle w. on January 6, 2014 

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Jammed!!!!!

Man, I am stuck in a traffic jam... What a block, I have been stuck in this for 30 min now....When will we stop having traffic blocks......If only we had wider roads.......If only we had flyovers.....Once the metro is finished.....

The ordeal that we go through everyday without a solution, and this is not about any city, town or place in particular.  What is the perfect solution? I firmly believe that to find the solution to the issue we need to find the cause of the issue or rather causes to the issue of Traffic block.

Some causes that I could think off

1. Lead by example : It is important to lead by example. Folks in authority should take it as a personal commitment to ensure that their vehicles follow every traffic rule. At home if the parents are irresponsible and not accountable for what they do, almost always the children follow their footsteps. It is essential that every individual drive their vehicle with responsibility and accountability, with an extra care when their children are around. Yesterday I say the fiery look in a small boy(about 7-8 years) who was sitting on the petrol tank of the motorcycle( ;-) so much for saftey) that his father was driving----- there was a massive traffic jam for vehicle traveling towards chittoor from kacheripady.  I was traveling towards Kacheripady and this side of the road was pretty empty, taking this chance most of the two wheelers started using the emptiness to their advantage. I had to literally keep honking to ensure that the two wheelers give way. This particular biker was in no mood to give way and so I had to apply brakes and sound the horn, which is when I spotted the look in the eyes of the boy, although his father had a taunting smile as he slowly tried to merge along into the line of vehicles, and again he was not wearing a helmet. And we blame the youngsters for rash driving, however we forget that it is "We" who instilled this rashness in them from childhood!!!
2. Two wheelers: I have nothing personal against two wheelers, I also used to drive a bike, and that is exactly why I am 500% confident that two wheelers almost always create traffic blocks in their aggressive way of trying to get through narrow spaces. The other tendency is to somehow squeeze yourself to the front of all the waiting vehicles at the traffic signal and then the mad rush as the signal goes green and in the process the bigger vehicles are slowed down or stuck.
3. Follow Traffic Rules: Traffic rules are not time bound. They are applicable always. So in the middle of the night if the traffic signal is Red, we need to stop and wait till it turns green, and not jump the signal because there is no other vehicle on the road. The same is applicable during the day time, even when a cop is not there. I have observed numerous occasions when vehicle ply on in the opposite direction on a one-way road. There are times when the vehicles are of people in very responsible positions.No one is above the law, atleast that is what I believe.
4. Traffic Signs : Traffic signs are to be displayed appropriately. Old and faded traffic sign's should be removed or replaced. Traffic signs should not create confusion for motorists and pedestrians alike. I have noticed traffic signs depicting Vehicle speeds to be very confusing, for eg. while driving one comes across a sign saying speed limit of 60 km/hr and within the next 50 mts another sign which says 30 Km/hr, which is the right sign??

Some Standardizations for towns/cities

1. Bus terminals / Transit stations : Every major town / city should have a Bus terminal/Transit station located at the outskirts. This is where all long distance buses reaching the town/city will halt. Within the town/city only circular services should operate. The Bus terminal/Transit station should have excellent parking facility for vehicles. There should be an option to leave the vehicles parked for more than a day.
2. Bus Terminals for city/town circulars: To be located at specific points eg. shopping area,  commercial areas, residential colonies etc.
3. Multi Level Car Parking(MLCP): MLCPs to be located at various places within the city/town, manual or  automatic.
4. Flyovers: Flyovers at critical junctions, both within the city/town and also at intersections of State highways.
5. Roads: Roads need to well maintained with clear markings. Speed bumps should be well designed and consistent across.
6. Traffic Signals: Smart signals are required that can automatically adjust the signal time based on no. of vehicles waiting at the signal, or based on vehicle density during the time of the day.
7. Traffic Signs: Needs to be clearly visible and un-obstructed by hoardings and advertisements!
8. Penalties and fines: I read recently about a survey conducted and raising the amount for penalties and fines. I just feel that every traffic offense should be recorded and tagged to the individual/organisation. Based on the number of times an offense has been committed, the penalty imposed should be a combination of money, community work and the possibility of revoking the license. The offense information needs to be linked with the driven vehicle's history. The vehicle history information can be used by insurance bodies to ensure that they charge a high value for a vehicle that has a bad history. Now when it comes to driving license, I think we should do way with the current methodology of testing, and make it more practical. Issue a driving license which has varied levels eg. a basic license wherein the license holder can drive within the city/town, a next level for driving between cities/towns, and a national level where the person is authorised to drive on highways and expressways, with a minimum 6 month interval between each level of qualification. Pedestrians are required to be penalised for jay walking or crossing roads at un-authorised locations.

Well that's all that I can think of right now. Now is this possible, wont it cost a lot of money, how practical is this..... IT IS POSSIBLE!!! Each of us needs to start working on this. The roads are not in a video game, and nobody gets more than one life, unlike the video games. The cost is certainly a factor to consider, however if one takes the total of the recurring costs for road repair and other stuff, I feel that this one time high investment is worth it. The roads and road network of our city/town/country is like our own nervous system! Think of the measures that we take for ourselves.

disclaimer:All views expressed are my own and can be crazy at times, for I believe that Perfection is created by being imperfect....

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The Right in the Wrong

How many times have each of us done something wrong and then justified to ourselves and convinced others why it is right and not wrong. In-numerable, countless, many a time, always…..

How can something we do right become wrong with the passage of time? How can we do something right and later feel that we have actually done wrong. Is our mind playing tricks on us? Is our sense of logic betraying us? The whole aspect is so confusing. We always hear people saying, “The person who does something wrong, will always have something to justify for”, is it really so. There are so many scenarios wherein the wrong has been done and the person or people who did it do not feel bad or think that they have done any wrong.

It is a big mystery,  that has come down through time. Well there is no really big mystery, it is just that one needs to look at the whole scenario with a different view, a view not easy to obtain, a view not easy to understand, a view that is a paradigm shift, a view you will may not readily accept…

Until next time

Weekly Writing Challenge: Cliffhanger! by michelle w. on January 6, 2014 

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